Its the end of my last FOC, through these years, I finally understood the meaning of having friends, for me, having friends isn't about who is there for you all the time but who was there at the moment. Things change and always stays in constant changing. Your close friends now might be strangers the next year. For me, a painfully boring person, its even harder to keep close friends close because the get bored of me so bloody easily sometime it hurts but I guess we have no choice but to take it straight on. It's not easy being a boring guy. Being within a group of people for years already I've come to realise that doing the right things almost never get you far. To fit in you are supposed to give in to others if you are not dominant but you give in to nothing if you command the respect of others. Its aboutsstriking a balance. Its not how I am as a person is.
Im an introvert. An introvert who learnt how to handle situations which reqires me to be outgoing. Its extremely tiring for me to put up a fake front to show that I can handle people, I mean I can handle people but I just dont like doing it. Normally I just like to do my own thibgs and not get involved with people. To me, friends are essentially liars who tell you there will be there for you forever and disregard you when another person takes your place. Why? Because im a bloody boring person. I failed as a GL, im not as cool as my freshies, they went on with everything else and they started to feel out of reach. I failed as an Exco who didnt really get close to the people I am working with. Yet I am eager to share my experiences and my stories to others. What the fuck is wrong with me? All I know is that I can do wonderful stuff but no one cares if you aren't outspoken.
People are scary to me. They seem to build joy over people's demise, essentially selfish enpugh to disregard other's pride. If they are having fun, they dont care if they are destroying other's efforts that they did not see. 3 months of effort I've placed in and they use smack it about like they made the bloody thing. My finale crew and I has worked day and night, weeks following weeks of preparation making these props and all they do is destroy these props. Cant say im not affected by theur actions but it really drained all my faith in humanity. I dont blame them because humanity is a concept is somehow created by beasts who knows how to think, desperately trying to act differently than the beasts that they are.
I guess I won't be coming back anytime soon. I've seen enough of the inconsiderations of people having fun and disregarding the other's needs around them both physkxakly and mentally. It hss been fun while it lasted, goodbye.
